If I am gone

If I am gone, would you try to hold me?

With my name that will remain,

with the pictures on the wall or

something of me will still be with you?

At the end of the road

where I stand, echoes my name.

If I could I would come back

To the other end, but still

the search will never end and

you will never find me in the empty hallways.

Like a tune from a dead chord

That never rose and never died

I will hang there, where

you will never look for me.

If I am gone I will linger

on the whisper of your sighs,

I will dream for you,

I will hide in your eyes.

If I am gone I will let you stay,

on the other side of the road,

where my untuned dead chord

will always play

Fixing things ain't that hard either

I wish I could hide, from myself,
from you, from them.
Sick of playing this blame game.
I wish I could swim across
this marsh where I am sinking.
With a load on my shoulder,
getting heavier, sinking further.
Everything I touch, I turn and they crash.
Wondering how to fix things,
wondering how much pain it brings,
I make a mess of everything.
And again.....
my trust is trembling
my faith is shaking,
still I am trying to hold back,
fastening my grip on hope
paddling up with a wish.
Though the truth we get
is not always fair,
I will put my best efforts in there,
One day will come, I will walk
my head held up high,
a smile will take over
this sigh and that cry.

My heart hurts too

Quit calling me iron heart
for I can feel too.
I have learnt to leave
the tears behind, because
I want to stand strong for you.
If I cry I do not want your hand
To wipe the tears for me,
for I like to hold them and walk.
And so I do not cry.
The stolen glances I cherish,
have a bad view with moist eyes.
And so I do not cry.
If I fall and get hurt,
Wish you are never there
to help me stand up.
for I fear your fear to see me hurt.
I learnt to hide the scars,
so that you let me hug you even if it hurts.
But, yet I have not quite learnt
to run away from you.
And so, my heart aches too.

When you were just you

I miss the days when you were just you.
when my hand used to fit
perfectly in yours and
there was still space enough to
spread our wings.
now when I look at your pretty face,
I wish if I cud run away.
the smiles you fake hurt me.
the longing to be in your arms
push me away, scared
of the coldness you wear.
I miss the days when I could say
anything that does not make sense
and you made meanings out of it,
now I try to talk nous,
but it seems u dnt get me,
at all, and I try
harder to look for you, in you.
you are not here, not there, not anywhere
I miss u ,
thinking about when you were just you.

When you ask me

When u ask me how do I look?
It is confusing.
defining beauty has always been hard
I know that you know that.
when u smile,
when you fight to hold back a tear
when u get upset over nothing.
I feel you are beautiful.
when things turn ugly and i need
a shoulder to cry on,
you come up to me and i feel you r beautiful.
when you get angry and show it,
and I try to comfort you
(I am terribly bad at it though)
I see you are beautiful.
when there are promises
we will get drenched in beauty
you and I
then I know you are beautiful

Its you and your smile

I was told about Helen

with beauty that launched a thousand ships.

when i try to draw her face

it did not look happy to me.

her beauty could not touch me i guess

I closed my eys and recalled two glistening sapphires

two red lights down my house

trying to sell me a rose for a buck

I filled my canvas

it spoke of undefined beauty.

I wonder what is there in monalisa smile!

It does not give me line to write.

I turn around and there you are

then that smile bloomed in to poetry

this is what for me is beauty..

Happy Ending

Not every time,

She asks how can they live

Happily ever after?

So I stopped reading her fairy tales.

If it is ending; how can it be happy?

Puzzled!!! where do I find open endings?

She never looks in to the mirror,

terrified of her own pretty face.

I wonder what is concealed

behind those brown eyes!

Deep, deep and deeper I tried to look; but

they offered me nothing but mystery.

I try to hold her, soothe her calm her down.

She stares back and I find myself

Lost in those infinite brownness.

Her questions become mine and

my cluelessness hers.

We embrace and dissolve

in each other and then

we seek another fairy tale...

I am not a Dreamer

Before I met you I was a dreamer.

I dreamt of trees, birds and butterflies.

I never had a dream about someone

who will ride a white horse and will come to me;

for I know I am no princess.

You came along like the sun rays passing

through the veil of fog;

lit up my dreams.

Now I do not call myself a dreamer.

I live in them

And then we became "Them"

That evening, we walked hand in hand,

Through the dreamy town

that wore a cloud crown.

Memories drag me back.

Slowly the mountains wore

the robe of darkness.

We looked at the lights that shone afar.

We hopped and skipped to the stream

barefoot, singing, laughing at silly jokes.

Careless, slipping and tripping and holding back.

United; we became the stream,

rushed through the rocks

with zeal to drown the tall pine trees.

Fireflies blinked around us.

They were teasing us, saying;

we know what it's to be in love and

they sprinkled some sparkles on us.

Glittering with glow we crossed

the colourful markets,

still dreaming, rising and falling and

wrapping ourselves in them.

When we looked up

the sky looked comforting

the breeze soothing

calling us...

Before we realised; we became them.

The stream, the fireflies, the grass,

the breeze, the mountains and the sky....